Like I mentioned in earlier entries, I’m learning not only about BTS but also Army. I’ve gone on Weverse a little. I have to get used to the interface. Remember, I’m old. Watching social media and Youtube has helped For example, The Dumpling Incident and the steadfast brotherhood that followed made me love them more. But, Army talking about the Dumpling Incident? Pure gold, pure gold, and pure gold (we may never know what was behind this last one). Understanding The Dumpling Incident is a right of passage for newbies like me. It is a gateway drug to the well of intoxicating love that is BTS. But I digress.
The subject of this entry is: Has anyone in Army felt like trying to talk to people about BTS just yields the following?
- The condescending laugh that puts me down as silly (well, I’m, like, 55 years old, so I get it.)
- The slightly better response of “Oh, I had a co-worker who was really into them.”
- The awful dismissive eye roll, followed by “I hate them.”
I’m going to opine about #3. The “I hate them.” To me, when I get this response, now bear with me, I feel, really feel, there’s a subtext of toxic masculinity mixed with xenophobia and homophobia, frankly. I don’t need people to like them. But, damn, it’s pretty vitriolic and usually followed by, “They wear makeup.” “They look like girls.” “How is anyone supposed to understand what they are saying?” “Their fans are the worst.” This is odd because can people like music without the fandom these days? And lastly, “I love BlackPink.” This makes me chuckle. It’s like a mean friend telling you that you must choose them or me, or we won’t be friends. I know most have only seen Dynamite or maybe even Mic Drop, a Grammy performance, perhaps. In other words, most people I try to talk to who are not in Army seem to hate BTS and have a narrow experience. But why the vitriol from such a limited experience?
These are not people who hated musicians like Prince, Michael Jackson, and other boy bands such as Color Me Badd. Or even Culture Club. Okay, you get it. These are old people like me.
I’ve read many articles and watched videos about how hard it was for BTS to get where they are. Yet I wonder why their music and aesthetics challenge people’s paradigm of masculinity in this day and age. Is it because they see so many women love them and thus see the tide of their sort of irrelevant masculinity coming? In other words, women don’t like the “small dick energy” of toxic masculinity. But we never have. We didn’t have the right words or much of a choice, did we? I thank the higher energies that the following generations can verbalize, act on this, and opt out of this. And while I, as an Asian, have seen their accomplishments as something to behold, many of these folks who I’ve tried to talk to are Asian, as well. What about BTS do they see, perhaps in themselves, as a projection to hate? Because it doesn’t happen when you talk about a band like Color Me Badd (who, I’m sorry, had shitty music). Do they think BTS’ boldness challenges their upbringing of assimilation and not sticking out? In a sort of, “how dare them…” vain? Or is it because they see them perpetuating the fair-skinned aesthetic that so many of us are not? For myself, I try not to judge how people want to look. There’s too much nuance behind this that I think is dangerous to judge. I wouldn’t want people to feel they have an opinion on editing how I like to look or express myself through what I wear, my makeup, etc.
I don’t have all the answers because I don’t know deeply where these people’s thoughts are or if they are. But, I am deeply curious about the reactionary vitriol that ensues and how people are projecting the discomfort within themselves when they react with hatred. So I just remember the wise words of Kim Namjoon:
“I’ve had to accept that – that everyone cannot love me. Because when there’s love, there’s hate.”
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